There is a certain fear that comes with online dating. It may not be exactly fear for some, but there is always some amount of anxiety. That is normal, since you are putting yourself in a situation with so many possible outcomes. For most people, this is not a problem at all. But some just can’t push beyond these thoughts and feelings, and they end up reaping way less than they normally would from their online dating efforts.
Here are some fears that you need to wash from your psyche to increase your odds of succeeding at online dating.
General Fear of The Unknown
For some people, venturing into the online dating world is like taking an unguided walk in the woods at night. Where do I start? What exactly should I say? How long am I supposed to wait for a response? How should I progress to asking this person out? These and many other questions make online dating a complicated endeavour to the first timer.
The best way to navigate around this is to familiarise yourself with the idea by asking friends that have used online dating. But with the internet around, doing some research online might be a better way.
The Fear of Rejection
When it comes to online dating… and sales, rejection is a reality that’s pretty much a part of the game. It can be a particularly daunting possibility – to put yourself out there, showing what is the best of you only to be told… no, hopefully politely.
There is unfortunately no way to dodge this. Some people won’t like you, but that doesn’t mean anything beyond that. It shouldn’t be taken personally. You just have to know that rejection will come and learn how to deal with it.
An Awkward Date
What if you actually do get on a dating website. What if you do message that person, they respond, you chat, and end up setting a date. But what if the date turns out awkward, oh-earth-open-up-and-just-swallow-me sort of awkward. The problem most times, people end up blaming themselves, which all feels like they have failed. This makes it just as hard to take as rejection.
The way to face up to this unsavoury possibility is to understand that, this, like rejection, should not be taken personally. If a date happens to be one long awkward pin-drop silence punctuated by forced specs of conversation, simply go to find your next, just like you would after rejection.
The internet makes it easy for people to be fake. That cute 21-year you have been chatting with for a week? Let’s just say that could be a 40-year-old guy in sweatpants. That might be one of the more extreme cases. Usually, it happens in the form of people adjusting their age, using photos from a period they feel they looked better, and staged images that in no reserved terms suggest they have an awesome life.
But that is not the whole fear of misrepresentation. Sometimes you may find yourself at the centre of the fear. Does this person like me or do they like their flawed idea of who I am? Did I present my true self in my profile, my picture, and the messages?
To handle misrepresentation, always pay attention to the people you contact when dating online to look for hints that may give away a fake profile. Some sites are particularly known for their lot of fake profiles. Check out some reviews online and avoid those that have a reputation for housing fake accounts.
Stigma Attached to Online Dating
Although the mention of dating sites still gets less disapproving faces than it used to in the past, it still has a little stigma attached. This is waning now and very few people look down on those that resort to online dating. They may not like the idea, but at least they will rarely think you are a social loser.
Today, even the most opposing section of society even have their own niche dating sites, like Islam dating, Christian dating, etc. In fact, many people are tying the note after meeting online, and projections indicate it’s becoming just as popular as traditional methods of meeting.
The Desperation Element of Online Dating
The good news here is, online dating isn’t considered desperate anymore. Just ask anyone under 30 years old and they’ll tell you, “How else do you meet new people, by visiting sleazy bars, what are you, a caveman?” With our obsession and addictive use of technologies these days, meeting someone any other way other than via
the internet or an app just seems very uncommon.
We live in a digitized world ranging from shopping, working, paying your bills, even dating is done online that’s just the way it is. Not all that long ago, online dating was considered for those who were desperate and unable to function in the real world. This stigma was probably formed in the early days of the internet when our mum and dad told us that by speaking to a stranger online you might end up being murdered by some Craigslist killer.
Modern research tells us that 80% of singles who use online dating and dating apps consider this a great way to meet people. Although at the same time, given just how powerful these technologies are at arranging quick connections, 30% of them consider that this process holds them back from entering into committed relationships – why settle down when there’s so many options?
Although, when it comes down to whether or not you should cast judgment on people wanting to find connections and romance online? That right there is so last century!