Online dating can be a huge anxiety fest. There is just no telling what kind of experience lies waiting around the corner, or if there is even any experience at all. That makes it interesting to some degree. The first date can be particularly nerve-wracking with lots of questions flying through your mind: will she like me? Will he think I borrowed my grandma’s outfit?
Sometimes, these fears materialize and you have at your hands a bad date. You know, the one where you wish you would just hop into some time machine, go back to when everything started and never take that path again?
But Sci-Fi aside, how do you really handle a bad date? Here are some tips to get you through the other end of your failed attempt at romance. And no, there is no option for a time machine.
Is It Really That Bad?
Is your date actually bad? It is possible that you are just too harsh of a judge, giving your date an unfair 2 out 10 when it’s really a 5. A really Bad date is more than crickets punctuated by poor deployment of your conversation arsenal, followed by more crickets. That is bad, of course, but the really bad ones are those, for example, where your date has manners you just can’t put up with, or where your date is egotistic and disrespectful to you and is basically polar to your values.
So how do you deal with an awful date?
You will most likely be tempted to just call it quits upon finding that things are not going remotely right. But your focus should be on trying to go through with the date until the end. It is a great way to learn some patience and ways of dealing with different people.
Let Them Know
Voice your discontentment. Politely of course. But there are some things you just can’t talk about. For example, it would be hard to call out your date on the fact that they remember nothing about you from your chats.
But for things like your date taking you to a BBQ restaurant when you are vegan, simply letting them know might be all the magic you need. People usually endure discomfort that would go away if only the other person knew. Some people are genuinely unaware of your feelings so it is on you to communicate effectively and politely about it.
Your date could be asking you about personal details. Instead of just answering them or cleverly dodging the question, why don’t you just let them know that you’re uncomfortable with divulging such information at that stage?
Know the Limits
You cannot just put up with everything. You have to know where the lines are drawn. For example, issues of safety should not be compromised. If you feel threatened in a way, or if your date is insulting and blatantly disrespectful, leave.
Avoid Them By Paying Attention to Early Conversations
Some dates are a result of poor communication from the beginning. You can avoid a good number of them by paying attention to your date during your early chats to determine whether meeting them would be alright. Of course, you cannot foresee everything, but at least you will be able to prevent some.
Don’t Forget To Try Again
Bad dates happen, and unfortunately, you may have to go through a couple of them along with some good ones. What’s important is to look at what exactly went wrong, learn from it, then move on to the next- you will become better at handling bad dates with time. You have nothing to lose, especially if you are using a free dating
Don’t discuss future plans
When it’s time to end the date and you’ve no intention of making plans for a second date, be mindful of how you say goodbye. Avoid saying things like “’See you later” or ”See you next time.” Instead, make comments like, “Nice meeting you” or “Good luck with everything.” If you end up receiving a text from him afterwards, simply reply back with “Thanks for a nice night, but I’m not feeling a romantic connection, but good luck meeting someone.”
Try and see the good side to a date that didn’t work out
Online dating is about persistence and attitude. Expect for lots of dates not to work out, it’s normal. Even though you didn’t feel any romantic connection with your date, there could be an opportunity to make a new friendship of sorts. Even if you’re not romantically attracted to him, he might be an interesting person even if you don’t feel any attraction. On the same note, if there’s no reason to ever see this person again, there’s no shame or guilt cutting ties with him altogether – it’s the online dating game just remember.