How The Abundance of Choice Might Be keeping You From Finding Your Partner Online

In one wildlife documentary, a lioness lies in the tall grass with its head low and hind legs folded, ready to spring up at any time. A herd of wildebeests rush by, oblivious to the danger that lurks a few feet away. All sorts of animals run by: fast ones, big ones, old ones, thin ones… but the lioness patiently waits, ready to pounce on just the right one. These are times of abundance and it can finally pick the very best animal it can. Perhaps the toughest one for the sake of adventure, or one that has the smallest horns to make the struggle less dangerous, or maybe a sick, weak, slow animal that won’t need much strength to bring down. But soon, the treading hooves cease. The lioness lifts its head as the last animal disappears into a cloud of dust. There goes lunch.

Internet dating can be just like that at times. It gives you access to all sorts of people, lots of them right within your location and potentially from all over the world. That is great because you can now get Mr or Miss Right from a bigger pool. But just like the lioness, most people misuse this abundance and let every chance pass them by, fooled by how easily they can connect with the next romantic interest. Here are four ways that the abundance of potential dates on dating websites might be hindering you from getting that one person.

1. Little Investment

Sometimes you may not even know it, but too many options can lead to underinvestment in your pursuit for a relationship. It’s very easy to have lax input if you know there is someone else waiting around the corner. You may find it hard to focus, your mind wandering away thinking about what those other people have to offer. There is just a certain neglect that creeps up on people when they know they will get another chance with another person if they blow the opportunity they have.

2. You Might Turn Into a Serial Dater

It’s possible to become addicted to the thrill of receiving tonnes of messages from guys and getting to choose who to respond to. The adventure of crafting messages to get women to respond. The excitement of getting to know someone new and setting up a date with them can be trapping. Serial dating is the term. You hop from one person to another just for the sake of it, just because you can.

3. It becomes Easier to Entertain Unrealistic Expectations

Everyone wants the best they can get. Whether you are picking shoes, a car, clothes, no one wants a flawed choice. Online dating gives you the opportunity to indulge yourself as far as your desired characteristics in a mate go, even if these may be listed on a long unrealistic checklist. Because there are so many people to choose from, it becomes easier to sustain the deluded idea that somehow you will find the person that satisfies all your utopian aspirations, letting otherwise great people pass you by.

4. Paralysis of Choice

When humans have too much choice, it becomes confusing. Whether you are buying groceries or clothes, too many options can be overwhelming and the same goes for online dating. There are dozens of guys messaging you and all them seem great at first glance. What do you do? Who do you start with?

5. Fear of Missing Out

And then there is the fear of missing out. This can seriously hinder your progress of your online dating. In the same spirit of making sure you get the very best you can, questions fill your mind whenever you spend time with one potential mate and not the other. Your mind wonders what you are missing by not being with the other person. This, however, only works to deprive your current attempt of your full attention and effort.


Online dating iteslf is not the casue o these problems. it is just a tool that can b used both to the righ or left. You should know what you want in your partner, and at the same time you should be realistic in your expectations.