In one wildlife documentary, a lioness lies in the tall grass with its head low and hind legs folded, ready to spring up at any time. A herd of wildebeests rush by, oblivious to the danger that lurks a few feet away. All sorts of animals run by: fast ones, big ones, old ones, thin ones… but the lioness patiently waits, ready to pounce on just the right one. These are times of abundance and it can finally pick the very best animal it can. Perhaps the toughest one for the sake of adventure, or one that has the smallest horns to make the struggle less dangerous, or maybe a sick, weak, slow animal that won’t need much strength to bring down. But soon, the treading hooves cease. The lioness lifts its head as the last animal disappears into a cloud of dust. There goes lunch.
Internet dating can be just like that at times. It gives you access to all sorts of people, lots of them right within your location and potentially from all over the world. That is great because you can now get Mr or Miss Right from a bigger pool. But just like the lioness, most people misuse this abundance and let every chance pass them by, fooled by how easily they can connect with the next romantic interest. Here are four ways that the abundance of potential dates on dating websites might be hindering you from getting that one person.
1. Little Investment
Sometimes you may not even know it, but too many options can lead to underinvestment in your pursuit for a relationship. It’s very easy to have lax input if you know there is someone else waiting around the corner. You may find it hard to focus, your mind wandering away thinking about what those other people have to offer. There is just a certain neglect that creeps up on people when they know they will get another chance with another person if they blow the opportunity they have.
2. You Might Turn Into a Serial Dater
It’s possible to become addicted to the thrill of receiving tons of messages from guys and getting to choose who to respond to. The adventure of crafting messages to get women to respond. The excitement of getting to know someone new and setting up a date with them can be trapping. Serial dating is the term. You hop from one person to another just for the sake of it, just because you can.
3. It becomes Easier to Entertain Unrealistic Expectations
Everyone wants the best they can get. Whether you are picking shoes, a car, clothes, no one wants a flawed choice. Online dating gives you the opportunity to indulge yourself as far as your desired characteristics in a mate go, even if these may be listed on a long unrealistic checklist. Because there are so many people to choose from, it becomes easier to sustain the deluded idea that somehow you will find the person that satisfies all your utopian aspirations, letting otherwise great people pass you by.
4. Paralysis of Choice
When humans have too much choice, it becomes confusing. Whether you are buying groceries or clothes, too many options can be overwhelming and the same goes for online dating. There are dozens of guys messaging you and all them seem great at first glance. What do you do? Who do you start with?
5. Fear of Missing Out
And then there is the fear of missing out. This can seriously hinder your progress of your online dating. In the same spirit of making sure you get the very best you can, questions fill your mind whenever you spend time with one potential mate and not the other. Your mind wonders what you are missing by not being with the other person. This, however, only works to deprive your current attempt of your full attention and effort.
6. Narrowing down your choices
With such a huge pool of applicants available, online daters have an abundance of menu items at their disposal to help narrow down their searches. Even though there are some common disqualifiers, everyone is still looking for different things in a potential date.
It’s interesting to note that the biggest deal breaker online is age difference when searching through singles profiles. Recent research explains how women are up to 400 times less likely to click on someone’s profile if the age requirements do not stack up even if all other factors, such as location, looks or their career ticks the right boxes, so if you’re out of age-range you’ll probably be passed up.
The other big deal breaker for women is when there’s no photos attached to dating profiles. Smoking also rates as a major deal breaker. Several other disqualifiers that commonly come into play are religious differences and having children from a previous relationship also ranks highly on the ”delete profile” equation.
7. Virtual Honesty is a Virtue
The majority of people dating online are in fact truthful about their real statistics. A 120 kg Sydney man is unlikely to advertise his weight as being 80 kgs on his profile information.
And if he is a successful business CEO, it’s unlikely he will post a photo visiting a strip club at his best man’s bucks party which would of course detract from his image as a successful businessman.
One common misleading scenario with online dating is older people fudging the numbers by trying to pass themselves off as younger by using dated photos. This might be common-place for dating site first-timers, however if he is serious about finding a lasting relationship and taking things offline, he’s not going to post photos that make him appear 10 years younger or 20 kgs lighter.
Although if you’re motive for using online dating is pure fantasy, then fudging the details on your profile could work out for you.
As a career man or women who is showcasing your credentials, proficiency and experience, you won’t stoop to trying to make yourselves look 10 years younger – simply because the math won’t add up – which would make the rest your of your profile seem suspect.
If you’re truly looking to get the most out of online dating, then it’s your credibility that will yield results in the end. It’s essential that you aim for consistency and accuracy with your dating profile, so it reflects your offline presence as best as possible.
It’s clear that most people are their own worst critics, so it’s becoming more common for online singles to enlist the help of their family or friends when crafting a great online dating profile.
Collaborating with those closest to you is a terrific formula for success dating online, as this group of friends have a personally vested interest in helping you to find someone compatible to spend time with.
When adding your photos to your profile, the more the better. Adding some variety to your photos will reveal your true physical authenticity which is in-line with your attempts to create the true version of yourself both on and offline.
Group photos, action photos, funny photos and photos of you and your pet is a great strategy and very appealing.
While the abundance of choice might be keeping you from finding your partner online, with some patience and honestly you will inevitably attract people who are also sincere and honest.