So, it’s been weeks since you put up your online dating profile and with each day that passes you grow increasingly hopeless about the possibility of finding a mate through the internet. But the fact that more and more people keep getting successful results all online, building relationships that lead to marriage sometimes, a nagging question lingers on your mind, ‘what could I be possibly be doing wrong?’
Here are some of the things that might be sucking the life out of your online dating efforts.
1. Your Profile Picture
Every aspect of your dating account is important. But, when it comes to your profile picture, things take center stage. The very first thing people will notice about you is your profile photo and whether correct or false, they will draw conclusions about your personality right there. For this reason, you want to make sure it shows the best of you, without appearing overly staged.
- Use a clear picture. If possible, get a professional photo taken. That is not entirely necessary, though, considering how good everyday smartphones have become at taking images.
- Be alone in the picture. What’s the big idea behind using a photo with your best friend in it? Instead of wondering who’s who, people will probably just skip to the next profile.
- Use a current photo. It could be that you have lost your looks a little in the past 5 years. But whatever you do, use a current photo.
2. Boring, unoriginal messages
It’s hard for people to ignore something that makes them feel special. You may not have the best profile picture but if you can craft a personalised message for a lady, chances are she’ll take notice. The trick is that it seems the right thing to do to message as many ladies as possible with the same template message. But sending targeted messages even if they are fewer will be a better investment of your time and hopes.
- Go through the profile of the person you would like to message and pick out something special about them, something you would know only if you went through their profile.
- Come up with an original message that touches on her profile details. It doesn’t have to be over the top – just something that shows that you put some effort into it.
3. Too short a bio
Agreed – people generally don’t like reading. It’s work and that is why instead of opening some book, they would rather sit in front of the TV and have it talk to them. It would therefore be a good thing to keep your profile short.
But brevity is just one side of the coin. The other is completeness. Can you come up with something that is brief yet reasonably representative of who you are, what you like, and what you are looking for?
You have to give people something to work with, some place to start from. Even as you aim for something short, make sure it is not too short to send any meaningful picture of you.
- Ask yourself what you are looking for in a mate and capture that in a sentence.
- Think about some of the most important qualities about you, things someone should know before starting a relationship with you. What are some of your significant likes and dislikes? Condense them into a sentence or three.
4. Too long a bio
Don’t go on giving unnecessary information on your dating profile. Leave something to the imagination. Besides, as earlier stated, people generally don’t like reading- it takes effort. With the ever reducing attention span of people, you will lose your potential dates to the next butterfly flying by.
- Format your text. A wall of text will make people want to swallow a bowl of bullets. It is utterly annoying. Short sentences, well-spaced lines, and proper grammar will do the trick.
- Who uses mind-blowing words on their profile? Keep it simple, keep it conversational.
5. Taking too long to respond to messages
How often do you log into your account? Could it be killing your chances to succeed? Even though most websites have ways of notifying you whenever there’s is activity on you profile, you may still find yourself taking too long to respond to messages. The obvious result is that you will lose the prospect and end up cursing the whole idea of online dating for how useless you have found it to be, when, in fact, it is all your doing – or lack of doing.
6. You’re too picky
We’re not saying you should settle for less than what you deserve. What you need to also be considering in your online dating search is that, it’s possible you’re being too picky about the wrong things, or things that don’t matter in the
grand scheme of the bigger picture. Many singles who are online looking for connections far too often focus on the same things: looks, location or job. Just remember, those things change over time but what will never change is the
character of a person: Values, morals, and their core beliefs. Particularly if you’re looking for something longer-term, think about being picky in the areas that really matter.
7. You can’t see what’s in front of you
With so much choice available with online dating sites and dating apps, many people just become a number and hitting the next or delete button is often done in haste. Modern and busy singles often completely ignore those that have looked at their online profile. If someone has clicked through to your profile, there’s obviously a level of interest there so why not see if there’s something there beyond just a photo? Consider sending these people a message first before you send out messages to others.
There’s a great chance you’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it. Try and be more open to meeting someone you may not normally go for, be open to trying new things. By having this ‘perfect’ person at the forefront of your mind is why so many people fail with online dating. Try looking beyond your typical norm and start experimenting with other types of people, you might just be surprised with what you have found.