Can you feel it?
That diabolical concoction of uncertainty, fear, optimism, and suspense?
Although the texting has been going well, so well that you’ve decided to meet your date, you just can’t help the anxiety and the rushing questions in your mind. Will he like me? Does she look like she does in the pics? What if I run out of what to say completely dry?
This is a normal feeling. It’s your mind trying to protect you from the danger that’s potentially lurking in the dark corners of the coming event, your date. But it’s clear your mind isn’t helping the situation at all.
So how can you tell it to relax the warnings, calculations, and prophecies about your date?
Here Are 9 Ways to Cope With dating Anxiety.
1. Know That it’s Normal
If you only have the capacity to remember 1 point from this, let it be this one: it is okay to be anxious about your date.
Let’s be honest – it somehow gives an edge to the whole event, making it memorable, making you feel alive. It’s actually a way of saying, ‘this is something.’
Imagine going on a date and you magically knew everything that was going to happen…. Booooring!
2. It’s Not Your Responsibility. . . Alone
How good the date goes is not your responsibility alone. The other person also has some weight to carry in this as well. If it goes wrong it will be you as a pair that will have failed, not you alone. That’s still not a good thing but it should provide some comfort. 2 is better than 1.
3. Be in the Moment
Be in the here and now and stop worrying about how the other person will judge what you say and do. Yes, you are hoping the date would pave the way for a relationship but all you are trying to do in the moment is connect with this person. Forget about what may or may not happen afterwards. Bury your “what ifs”
4. Don’t Personalise Your Anxiety
So long you’re not a nervous wreck, in which case you should find your way to a doctor’s office, do not personalise your anxiety. It does not mean you have poor social skills or lack confidence more than the next person. Well, maybe a little, but not automatically.
One secret: your date is most likely just as anxious.
5. Imagine It’s Your Friend
Imagine you are talking to a friend. But this is not your regular pal. You know so little about this person that you have an ocean of curiosity about them. This might even help you connect better as the other person notices your genuine interest in their story. Everyone has one.
6. The Date is Not The Be-All, End-All
Go in front of a mirror and tell yourself: I don’t need this date to work. I want it but I don’t need it. That’s the truth although you may find it hard to believe. You don’t need the date to go well. You have a life before your date and you’ll still have one afterwards whether it works or not. You might be lonely right now but your date is not some prophesied messiah. If it doesn’t go well, try some more.
7. Crank Up Your Confidence
Remind yourself of all the great stuff about yourself. Count all the things you think the other person might like about you, or even better, the things you like about yourself. This ultimately makes your confidence soar as your anxiety shrinks. It’s all in the mind.
8. Remember That You Can’t Control The Outcome
You might be thinking, that actually just took the last drop of confidence I had. This may sound disempowering but the opposite is actually true. It empowers you to only do your part and leave the rest in the hands of fate. How well your date goes also has to do with chemistry and that’s something you can neither predict nor control. This should instantly take some weight off of your shoulders.
9. Don’t Wire Your Mind For Rejection
Do not get on a date thinking about rejection. It is a possibility but far it’s from guaranteed. You did not force this person into this. They are looking for love too and they will be more inclined to accept than reject you.