You are in a relationship and whether as gradually as a slow marching parade or as swiftly as lightning, it dawns on you – you just can’t be with this person and a breakup is the right thing to do.
But, even with everything pointing to a split, you still cling on for some reason and try to hide your true feelings from your partner. This is a scenario that is all too common and the reasons are a variation of the following five.
1. Desire to Continue Having Sex
Sex might be a reason to stay in a relationship which you are sure as hell isn’t going anywhere. Where will you get stable safe sex with someone you at least know? But this only makes things more complicated and makes the other person cling to you more.
2. Fear of hurting you partner
What if the other person really loves you and would be devastated to see you leave? Is that a valid reason to postpone a breakup? It might seem the right thing to do, but at its core, it is cowardice. This may appear to be you caring about the other person. But it is really about you avoiding to play the bad person. It is in some way self-preservation.
In fact, this will only make the breakup more painful since they will continue investing their time and energy in something that is non-existent. The reality is, the relationship just isn’t that solid anymore.
3. Fear of being lonely
Loneliness won’t be the best feeling after being with someone. But making your partner live a lie for the sake of their company is selfish. In truth, your relationship is fake, and you may find yourself still feeling lonely inside. So instead of postponing the inevitable, simply pull the plug, grow through it, and get to the one you really would want to be with.
4. Fear of losing some benefit
Relationships affect our lives in different ways. It could be that your life has improved for the simple fact that you are with a particular person. Perhaps you have better business deals now by virtue of being in a relationship with that business woman. Or maybe breaking up with that man means losing your accommodation.
But staying in a relationship for such reasons is a recipe for certain disaster in the near future. The damage this will do to your partner will be far more than all the gains you thought you were getting.
5. Waiting until there is someone better
Again, waiting for someone better while in a relationship is plain evil. Instead of keeping the other person in a lie and basically diminishing their chances of finding someone who truly wants them, let them go. You will both find the right people much faster.
6. You don’t want anyone to have your partner
This is a selfish reason that stems from insecurity. You have figured your partner is not the one for you but they have some really attractive quality that makes you to not want anyone to have them. This is about you not wanting to lose out and it only keeps everything stagnant.
7. You won’t find anyone like them
This may sound contradictory, but it happens. You finally find someone with a trait that you really value, but there is just something that’s not working between the two of you. It could be that you have been with a lot of unfaithful people and you have finally found the most faithful being ever. But she is too religious and that just can’t work for you. Will you now leave because of her religiousness, or will you stay because she is a faithful angel?
Breaking up in all cases, though, should be the last option after you’ve tried resolving everything, and are sure there’s just no hope.
Make the break if you know it’s over
As painful as ending it may be, you’ll both be happier in the long run. Cut that cord and set both of you free to find real happiness instead of trying to fake it.
You’ll know deep down when it’s over and when it’s time for a clean breakup. As hard as it’s going to be, putting off the inevitable won’t change a thing, you’re just continuing to compound this into a bigger problem. Start focusing your time and energy into having that conversation.
If there’s a little voice in your head that just isn’t going away, you know it’s time
The longer you leave it, the worse off you’ll both feel once the breakup finally happens. By now you know the truth, you know what needs to happen. You’ve spent so much time with this person, you owe it to them to set both them and yourself free. It’s time to stand up and to be strong. Your partner is going to get hurt by your decision there’s no way of getting around it so start facing up to what needs to happen.
In many ways, this decision to breakup with your partner should start to have a sense of liberation, a sense that you will finally have control over your relationships once you initiate the breakup. Yes your partner will feel hurt and pain, but the heart wants what the heart wants and you’ll both be better off in the long run.
Breaking up with someone who deeply loves you is such a heart wrenching moment, and deciding how to tackle this is one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have to make. However, by doing this, you’ll get full control over your life again and a heavy heavy burden will be lifted.
The wealth of opportunities that await you are endless, and regaining your independence will feel incredibly liberating.