Your lack of confidence on your first date can be the sole reason you never get a second one. Your confidence, or the lack thereof, will weigh in on how the person will see you, and how they think you will treat them and deal with certain situations in the future.
Everyone is endowed with a certain degree of confidence. Or, to be more accurate, everyone has managed to cultivate varying degrees of confidence, although people rarely make a conscious effort to do this; it’s almost as if ‘it just happens’. But in actuality, it’s based on your past successes and failures, and how you handled each. Confidence is based on how you view your abilities – how well you perform certain tasks and how well you handle certain situations. It’s synonymous with self-esteem but simply put, confidence is ‘I can do this’ or, ‘Can I do this?’, or ‘Bloody hell I can’t do this’ – the first showing the most confidence and the last, none at all.
You can’t magically build your confidence hours before your date. But, that’s not to say there is nothing you can do to exude confidence in specific things that you do.
Here are 10 things you can do to show more confidence on your first date.
1. Prepare Adequately, Don’t be Late
Can you feel the anxiety build up right before the date, with questions rushing through your mind faster than you can answer any of them? You have to deal with this state of mind as it will set the stage for the coming hours ahead.You can do this by first making sure you are not late. Rushing will only work to reduce your focus and fill your minds with little uncertainties about such concerns as your outfit. Allow yourself some time to relax, and if there is any ‘ritual’ that helps to relax your mood, do it. Perhaps it could be a certain playlist, or maybe a mini-meditation session – anything to keep you calm.
2. Present Your True Self
Part of being confident is acting like you. You cannot act your best by pretending, you will be missing the script and it will be easy for the other person to see. Nothing can ruin your first impression like busted pretense. Part of being yourself is wearing clothes that you are comfortable in so long, of course, you bear in mind that it is not Halloween.
3. Highlight Your Strengths to Yourself, Not the Other Person
Remind yourself of your strengths, your abilities, and your past conquests. Confidence is the belief that ‘you can do…” and by re-living some of the times that you really shined, you will fill yourself with self-belief. But there is a caveat here.
True, you are trying to come out as this confident god or goddess. But trying to hard will paint you in the exact opposite light. It is easy to think that by touting your own horn you will make a strong impression in the other person. It will be strong alright, but it will be negative. Confident people do not need to highlight their achievements. Focus instead on this other person, trying to make them tell you what’s interesting about them. That way, you will come out as one that does not need to campaign for approval. That takes confidence.
4. Don’t Down Talk Your Past Contacts
There are two ways to make yourself look bigger. One is by enlarging yourself, and the other is by shrinking others. Hint: Neither is cool.
It’s easy to try and make your exes look bad to paint yourself as the better person. Do not jump on any opportunity to disparage your ex, your parents or anyone in your life. In fact, Try not to talk about your exes at all. This says I do not to snuff anyone’s candle to let make mine shine brighter.
5. It’s not Your Fault if it Doesn’t Work Out
There are two things that will happen after your date: either there will be another, or you will have to say goodbye and move on, for good. Expect either. If you are confident. You will not make a big deal out of a failed attempt at romance because you know there is another chance coming. It’s also vital that you understand that it’s not your fault if a date doesn’t go well.
Well, to be honest, it might be your fault that a date doesn’t work. It is not about never failing, it’s about how you handle your failures. Confident people know that they make mistakes but their shortcomings do not define them. So if at all you messed up, learn and do better next time.