Dating an Introvert – What’s it like?

If you’re an extrovert and are dating an introvert, you may be experiencing some challenges to figure out your partners preferences, particularly in the early stages of your relationship. 

To people who identify with an extroverted personality, dating someone who is basically a polar opposite can be a perplexing and interesting mix of personalities. While an extrovert will commonly feel comfortable and enjoy socializing in large groups of people, in contrast, an introvert may not be able to handle these situations for extended periods of time and may prefer a more laid-back social setting.    

Consequently, a lot of what an introvert does socially may not make much sense to an extrovert in the early stages of the relationship. From the point of view of an extrovert, misunderstandings can occur when their introverted lover needs their alone time, but the extrovert can be forgiven in thinking their getting the cold shoulder when this may very well not be the case at all. 

In order to stop assuming the worst, it’s crucial that the both of you take the time to understand how each other thinks and feels by communicating when it comes to your relationship – the importance of communication cannot be pushed aside otherwise your fairy tale with dating a polar opposite will likely never see the distance. 

So, what is introversion?      

You need to be fully aware of what it’s like to date an introvert before you make any serious commitment to such a relationship. Given this, you should arm yourself with the applicable knowledge to find out exactly what introversion means. 

Someone who classifies as introverted is essentially a type of personality trait. This person typically focuses on their inner feelings as opposed to stimulations that require external focus.    

More often than not, introverted individuals prefer to have a smaller close-knit group of friends, they prefer time alone too, and will also have difficulty spending substantial amounts of time within larger group environments. Additionally, they will also remain acutely self-aware and will gravitate towards a career which fosters more independent roles.    

Most people are quick to assume that introversion identifies with behavioral patterns and disorders such as being antisocial, shyness or other forms of social anxiety. These are no more than incorrect assumptions when making comparisons to introversion. People with introverted personalities make up nearly 50% of the entire world’s population.  

Introverted individuals as a group are typically misunderstood. Just because they have quiet personalities, it’s often assumed they are upset, depressed or angry. Introverted people are generally standoffish, it’s just who they are and does not necessarily mean something is up. 

The majority of introverts have quite personalities, and it’s generally because this group of people prefer to not be the center of attention.  Their preference is to look and observe their surroundings and will take on a more reserved approach before they feel comfortable in opening up to new individuals or groups of people.       

Further, people should not assume that introverted personalities are odd or unusual. Interestingly, virtually every species in the animal kingdom displays traits of both extraversion and introversion.    

As an example, although an unusual one, even fruit flies show traits of both introversion and extraversion. That’s right, studies have found how some fruit flies will sit quietly in a specific location for longer periods of time, while others will constantly explore the environment around them. Researchers believe that each of these contrasting behaviors comes down to survival strategies which is a vital way of life for fruit flies. The same idea reflects human behaviors.      

Depending on whether you fit into the introvert or extrovert category, it’s important to understand that both traits have huge benefits for your life today, as well as into the future. Excepting this reality is an essential outlook for anyone who is unsure of these types of behaviors, as both traits have positive and negative factors. 

Accepting these facts is crucial when it comes to understanding how either personality trait is not preferred over the other. The best way forward is to simply acknowledge that introverts and extraverts are different personalities. 

Crucial Characteristics   

If you are trying to identify the term introversion, try not to assume that this trait is necessarily associated with shyness. It isn’t.  

Although there is a general association with introversion and shyness, shyness does not determine the defining traits when it comes to introverted people. 

Interestingly, there are vast amounts of individuals who identify with introverted personalities that are in fact quite outgoing. The following examples, which may come as a surprise, outline a variety of characteristics often associated with introversion:    

  • Often process and observe human behaviors in a deep way  
  • Crave alone time and need solitary breaks from other people 
  • Rather than verbalizing their feelings, they often internalize their thoughts 
  • Will only share personal thoughts with just a select few individuals   
  • Tend to prefer communication via written options such as text messaging rather than in person 
  • Prefer to express their emotions far less than extroverted people 
  • Would rather spend their down time alone than with other people 
  • Find it draining, exhaustive, and become over-stimulated when in the company of larger groups of people 
  • They feel recharged and invigorated among quieter and less populated surroundings  
  • Usually have a smaller close-knit group of friends as opposed to being around larger groups of acquaintances or friends.  
  • They tend to be great listeners and prefer to get to know people on a deeper level 
  • Will allow extra time to process thoughts and ideas before acting on them      
  • Gravitate towards meaningful dialogue over less stimulating small talk or meaningless conversations  

If you’re wondering whether your partner is in fact introverted, the best approach is to simply ask the question. Don’t be put off by not asking, they shouldn’t get offended in most cases, people tend to already know what type of person they are and what it is that makes them tick.  

On the other hand, some people may still be unsure as to what category their personality fits in to. A fun way to approach this situation can be to take a personality test together and discover both of your love languages 

The idea behind this approach is to enable both you and your partner to figure out your sensitive sides and to learn a deeper side and how you both operate which is an essential strategy for the health and overall benefit of the relationship.   

Dating Successfully 

If you’ve made the decision to pursue a relationship with an introvert and you yourself are an extravert, or even an introvert too, taking the right approach from the start can be a helpful way to make the relationship strong and successful 

Things that will help may include considering the ideal date options and allowing them to have their own space. Dating an introvert does not need to be challenging or overwhelming if you take the time to include things that they prefer from time to time. Here’s a few tips to help you and your partner to enjoy quality time together.  

Be Accepting      

It’s a common mistake for people to think that they can try and change someone instead of trying to accept the person for who they are. Judging and pressuring someone into your way of thinking is the wrong approach. Rather, make an effort to understand and accept them for who they are and appreciate the positive traits your partner has to offer.       

Regardless of whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, dating an introvert provides you with opportunities to slow things down a bit so you can reflect on things that are important. And for those who are dating extroverts, introverts can have more opportunities to step outside their comfort zones and try new things.  

One of the key factors when it comes to dating is making sure you disregard the stigmas which surround introversion. Most people are ill informed anyway by assuming that just because someone is introverted, they assume this is a weakness and label them as antisocial.   

The reality is a lot of introverts can behave in an extroverted manner and love to spend time hanging out with people.  With this, recharging the batteries and spending alone time after social engagements is one of the key differences between introversion and extroversion.  

Being thoughtful 

Your introverted friend or partner will often feel comfortable opening up to you about their most inner and intimate feelings once they are confident that you will listen to them and that they feel safe confiding in you.    

Try not to make the focus of your conversations all about you. Like any relationship, dating is a 2-way street which requires both partners to take the time to discover one another’s unique personalities. Many introverts commonly share traits consisting of an enthusiastic sense of humor and thoughtful quirky personalities.    

Choosing the right dating ideas 

During the preliminary stages of dating your introverted partner, be conscious of the fact that they will feel far more comfortable within more intimate gatherings and quiet outings as opposed to busy or crowded surroundings.  

As an example, they may not feel overly at ease or comfortable taking them to a work happy hour function among a group of strangers. Coffee, a movie, or dinner may be more appropriate, especially in the early stages of dating an introvert so you can get to know them on a more intellectual level.  

Down the track, your partner is more likely to feel okay with attending parties with you among bigger groups of people once they feel as though you have a good understanding of their personality. 

Concluding thoughts 

Within the billions of people who exist on our planet, no 2 people are the same. This rule very much applies when comparing people who are introverted – while they share similar traits, they are still quite different people.  

With that said, it’s important that you don’t make the mistake of pre-judging someone who shows signs of introversion, because if you do, dismissing someone as a potential partner based on this one element alone means you’ll overlook all the qualities which make them unique.