On again off again dating

On again, off again relationships can be stressful and confusing.  They happen for many reasons making their solution difficult to determine.  *

Oh, the dating scene, a place where things are never simple and feelings go wild.  You always hear about double dating, passionate relationships, and marriages, not no one ever talks about on again and off again dating.  That’s because no one understands it and it’s not a positive experience.

Reasons They Leave

On again and off again dating happens when one or both partners can’t make up their mind.  There are many reasons why they can’t decide if they want to be with the other or not.  Some of these reasons include: losing the newness and butterflies, problems with commitment, and loss of freedom.

Once the butterflies are gone a relationship may become boring, and partners may begin to doubt their feelings for one another, but after they break up they begin to miss each other, and get back together.  Others may have commitment issues, and as they begin to grow closer to one another they may begin to push away and eventually break up.  They later they want to give the relationship another try.  Similarly to commitment issues is loss of freedom.  Some partners may feel that as their relationship grow they begin to lose their freedom, which may scare them away and cause breakups.

Reasons They Come Back

Now they may come back because they realize what they are missing, they want to try again, or maybe there’s another reason.  If an ex-partner sees the other with someone else it may spark jealousy and they may try to get back with them in order to eliminate the other person.  This can be a very tricky situation because they may be jealous because they actually care for their ex-partner or they may just not like to share.

Some partners develop a comfort with each other, like a friendship, and feel dependent on each other.  This can be love, or not.  Either way a lot of relationships are on again off again because of comfort issues.  It’s just important to examine if it’s real love or if it’s a feeling of need.

Other Factors

Of course there are other factors that cause on again off again relationships that are out of a person’s control such as location and sometimes even work.  However, most of these factors just require more work from both partners.


These kind of relationships affect everyone differently.  Some people may learn by them and grow stronger.  Others may become depressed.  These relationships often teach a person more about themselves, and prepare them for reality, but they can also lower self-esteem and make someone feel as if they are not good enough.  One thing is for sure they are stressful and confusing.


There is no one solution for these situations, however, there are always a solutions.  To determine the best solution you must first examine the situation and determine why this is happening, is there really love involved, and how long will you let this continue.  Then you can determine the best way to handle the situation.