Late last week, money writer JP Mangalindan who works for CNN published a piece insinuating how the online dating concept has all but wrecked the modern laws of courting. Even though the piece largely drew debate, I am still inclined to issue a response.
I am 42 years old, I am by no means a web or tech expert although I have had some pot-luck with making fast money on the Internet. I rarely use Facebook, never used Twitter but yes, I have a Google account but not by choice – more on me, later.
Mangalindan’s main issue with the basis of online dating is that, it introduces too many options and we potentially miss opportunities and look past dates that may be more compatible than we realise if we gave it a chance before hastily moving onto the next proposition.
He claims that, too much information can destroy critical natural processes of crucial discovery that needs time to develop during several dates. Mangalindan also blamed Facebook for spewing ridiculous volumes of information “Today, you can find out all you ‘think’ you need to know about a potential date simply by going to Facebook and making a judgment call almost before you get to know someone for real.”
My personal assessment of his comments is that, well he does have a point. I do however think he has overlooked the savvy nature of many modern single people and that many people still rely on their own inkling and own circumstances as to whether they will let technology play cupid or not and to what extent.
I began online dating 4 years ago on the back-end of a 9 year relationship. As you’d probably be able to appreciate, I was reluctant to march straight on into an established singles scene when I had been out of the scene for so long. And as a single Dad at the time, my new relationship status hardly put me in a position to be able to go sow my wild oats and be free and frivolous.
Several issues of mine began to change seemingly overnight once I started dating online. Additionally, since I had also just moved from Sydney to Brisbane I had very little knowledge of the surrounds and what was on offer.
Each time I went on a date, it gave me the chance to explore and familiarise myself with new neighbourhoods. Not only was I dating a selection of women, I also found out where the local bars and restaurant hotspots were. Moving to a new city can be quite an intimidating feeling. And so I got to kill a few birds with one stone.
I truly do think that, if you give online dating the best chance of succeeding and take it seriously enough that it’s an incredible way to meet people. Sure, many of the dates went nowhere, but I did expect that and so my expectations were realistic right from the start.
So my question to you is this – now that we have all this crazy technology what are you going to do with it? Some people believe that online dating has ruined the fundamentals of old school romance, just like emails killed snail mail or like YouTube almost made TV obsolete.
Singles bars have kinda always sucked, but the Internet is what you make of it.
Online dating worked for me, so much so that I started my own dating website. And let me tell you, it’s far less expensive to set-up a dating website than it is a singles bar!
I love cyberspace!
