Regardless of whether you are new to using dating apps, or you’re still swiping left or right and losing any hope of finding someone who is simply normal, honest and forthright, paying attention to any signs of a red flag and narrowing down your list of admirers is the smartest strategy for finding that needle in a haystack.
If someone you’re chatting with online just isn’t sitting well with you, and you just cannot put your finger on what seems a bit off, your intuition must be the decisive factor as to whether you keep spending time and energy on that person.
Save yourself from any disappointment and make the right call right from the outset.
The initial attraction when you first look at someone makes it difficult to ignore any red flags. At this moment, do not ignore any little voices in your head that are telling you to run a mile – listen to your gut and the alarm bells and move on, before you set yourself up for yet another bad online dating experience.
Ladies – When Online dating, avoid these red flags
This red flag is an easy one to spot. Under no circumstances should you be entertaining the idea of dating a man who is asking you to lend him money or asking you for favors.
If you’re chatting to a guy on a dating app and he starts bringing up suggestions of borrowing money, stop talking to him immediately. Some scammers are very craftly and convincing in their approach. However, there must not be any hesitation from your side regardless – stop talking to him!
Skilled predators target vulnerable women who are either lonely or seeking attention. The predator will come up with all kinds of things to build trust – and try to make you fall in love with him. However, make no mistake, it’s a tactic to manipulate you and steal your money.
Tactics they use include examples such as: needing money to attend a funeral, his paycheck has been delayed due to a processing error from his employer, he wants to move closer to you from his country.
AVOID AVOID AVOID !!!
Think about it, if someone is in genuine need for cash for the above reasons, people typically turn to their close friends or family for financial help – not the woman he just met online.
Check out this article about avoiding romance scams.
He’s over the top
Sure, love at first sight happens. But falling in love after a phone call, or a glimpse at your dating profile, there’s a red flag right there, a huge red flag!
The guy uses excessive and over the top text messages and emails, he calls you all the time professing his love and commitment. Ladies, this is NOT a fairy tale in the works, it’s most certainly a play to suck you either into a romance scam, or you might be dealing with a serial player.
Falling in love with someone based on a photo or a few messages is unrealistic to say the least.
Building relationships take time and effort to cultivate. Beware of sociopaths, they generally have a hidden agenda and will quite often come across as deep and intense. You should be concerned if he moves way too fast.
Any girl wants to get swept off their feet, and the love bomber will take steps to intensify the relationship at every opportunity. Distance yourself before it’s too late.
He rushes and has a quick triggered personality. The guy is impatient when you don’t respond in a timely manner – he complains and pressures you. He is pushing you into meeting up straight away, within minutes after you first start chatting. If you show signs of caution or apprehension about meeting up so fast, he uses tactics to try and convince you otherwise – red flag – delete and move on.
This guy is coming across as a needy person, perhaps a sign of a jealous personality or even controlling. He may allude to having a brief physical encounter rather than taking things at a slower pace to build the foundations for a relationship.
When a genuine man is searching for something serious, he’ll put the time and effort into getting to know more about you and to give things a chance to develop one way or the other.
I’m only looking for…
If you’ve come across a dating profile that clearly states, “not here for anything long-term,” you should believe him.
Whilst there’s no crime in wanting this kind of thing, regardless of how cute he seems, if you’re looking for more than just a fling and he’s not, it’s bound to end in tears with no happy outcome. Don’t waste your time, he’s not going to change.
He’s a player
The player, he’s not shy of showing off loads of photo’s pictured with other women. Plenty of them. His aim is to showcase to the world, and to you, his many triumphs of being with other women.
He’s proud of his victories and is most likely looking at you for yet another notch in his belt. He’s a player, and proud of it which tells you one thing – he’s most likely not looking for an on-going relationship.
This is a guy who doesn’t post any profile pictures, or if he does, they are blurry and obscured. Why’s he wearing a hat or sunglasses? Perhaps he’s just shy, or has something to hide? One also has to wonder, if a guy is going to certain lengths to conceal his identity, is he looking to cheat on his partner because he’s married?
Whatever the case, this falls into the red flag category, and you probably do not want to stick around to find out.
This type of guy has an infatuation for sending women his nude photo’s including certain parts of his anatomy!
In return, he’ll expect you to return the favor. For me, it’s a creepy thought that a random stranger is sending you di*k pics..yikes! Showing off his package in the very initial stages of meeting you is a no-brainer that he is not here for love or a relationship.
I you’re looking for more than just a casual fling, forget about the exhibitionist and don’t waste your time.
He’s a party boy
If he’s still giving off the impression that he’s living the frat boy dream, then this is not your guy. Nothing wrong with a few pictures of him and his friends having drinks or out to dinner, but if he gives off the impression he’s constantly partying like he’s still at college, then move onto the next profile and give the party boy a miss.
The imaginary guy
First impressions have you believing he’s worth getting to know. He speaks well, easy to chat with, funny, seems interesting, and comes across as intelligent, smart and polite. Yet he never takes things further or makes plans for meeting up?
What are you not looking for is a pen pal right? It’s safe to say that you’re also not looking for this fascination to be never ending either. Time to ditch the imaginary guy and keep looking elsewhere.
So, what’s the ideal and most reasonable amount of contact you should be working with before it’s time to meet up? Exchanging 5-6 messages each, and a phone call or 2, seems like a good amount of contact before it’s time to meet up in person.
If he is content to just keep the messages flowing and things aren’t going anywhere, move on.
By identifying the signs of knowing which men to date or to avoid, will help you to focus on meeting guys that are more likely to meet your needs.
Finally, pay attention to your instincts if something isn’t sitting well with you.